Xiy mission SMEETS!
by Tamaka Haru
Summary: Six years later, there's a new Irken in town, and no she's not there to take over Zim's mission to conquer the Earth. full summary inside.
1. worst nightmare

Invader Xiy?

By: Tamaka Haru (yes I changed my name)

Summary: Six years later, there's a new Irken in town, and no she's not there to take over Zim's mission to conquer the Earth. She's there to make sure the Zim has the one thing that every Irken invader has to have before they fully conquer a plant: a mate and smeets.

Ms. Bitters glared at her class of annoying children, then her eyes landed on a big headed child he was glaring at the green skinned child … again. She hissed in annoyance why did she teach again oh yeah she loves to cause pain on young people a rare smile appear on her face. She turned towards the door there she saw a girl jumping up and down trying to get her attention. Ms Bitters sighs another soul to torture, she got up and slowly moved to the door, and opened it.

The girl ran passed her and stood in the middle of the class room with a large smile on her face she had two jet black messy pigtails, and blue eyes. She had on a blue strapless dress with pink lining, her knee high boots give her some height. She scanned the room, her eyes fell on Zim and Dib her smile widen threatening to in gulp her whole face.

"Hi, my name is Xiy nice to meet you" her smile morphed to a smirk a evil smirk "Hi Zimmy"

Zim looked up only one person dared call the almighty Zim 'Zimmy' it couldn't be he looked at the 'human' female in front of him. She waved before poncing on him with a high pitched sequel yep it was her XIY! And where was Ms. Bitters at the time...calling out sick with a a bag full of aspirin _'am to old for this'. _

The class was silent for a while before they started jumping out of the the nearest window and running out the doors. All was left was Zim, Xiy, and Dib she looked at the two males, she pulled Zim into a back breaking hug.

"Oh, Zimmy I missed you sssssssooooo much" Xiy hugged Zim as he was failing his arms in different directions.

"Irken-female let ZIM go" he yelled pushing her off, Xiy safely landed on Dib flattening him in the proses.

"HEY!" Dib yelled yet on one heard him

"BUT ZIMMMYYY I missed you" she said in a breathless voice "SO very much...my heart she is hurting" Xiy dramaticly placed her hand over her heart "dear bother"

Zim's eye twitched and walked out the room

Xiy jumped off of Dib and ran after her bother Dib made various body twitches

~Outside~

Xiy giggling madly while dancing in one spot as Zim scrutinized her with a critical eye

"Xiy why are you here on earth?" Zim asked suspiciously "Did you come to take Zim's mission"

Xiy stopped her dancing she looked up at at Zim (he is now a good 5' 11'' she's 4'9'' with out the boot with she's 5'2'' btw)

"Never, I would not I been on vacation here on earth for six years" she said puffing out her chest in very Zim like way "plus I just got a new assignment"

Zim narrow his eyes "then why aren't you on this mission?"

"I am silly, remember my position?"

"Ah yes, the I.M adverser"

"Hmm" Xiy nodded "the tallest are worried that you are forgetting the most important apart of Invading a plant"

"EH never..." Zim racked his brain for answers "uh.. what is it again?"

Xiy whole face fell _'he did for get, oh Irk'_ Xiy smiled "well Zi-Zi, before an invader could fully take over said plant, said invader has to take a mate and have Smeets"

"OH HELL NO, I THE ALMIGHTY ZIM WILL NOT TAKE A FILTHY WORM-BABY AS MY MATE" Zim raged

Xiy blow on her fingers and rubbed them against her dress, she looked up at him "are you done yet?" Zim was oddly purple " Zim I am the Invader Mating adverser yes, you rule half this world and still no mate or little Smeets"

Xiy cocked her hip to the side her hands on firmly planted on them with an annoyed look on her face "Look maybe IF you payed more attention at the smeet Academy you would of known of this" she growled at the taller Irken

"But the tallest personally sent me" Xiy said proudly "or maybe it was because I was here for six years" she said to herself quietly with shifty eyes, Zim was yelling randomness in the background

"ZIM! and whats your name!" Dib made his way over to them when he got to them he placed his hand on his knees and started panting.

"Hey! WOR-" Xiy stopped herself she walked over to Dib she placed her hand on her chin and started to circle him, a sweet scent was radiating from him. Both Zim and Dib stared at her, Xiy looked Dib up and down multiplies of times: easy on the eyes, high cheek bones, slender shoulders, small about 5'5'', shapely hips, rounded bottom, and nice long legs. This is the one! Xiy clapped her hands together and smiled _'this earth female will make nice healthy smeets' _then her eyes fell on 'her' chest it was flat _'a little under developed ... na... who cares they'll fill when she's with smeets!' _Xiy turned to Zim with a disturbing smile on her face.

"She's a good choice Zimmy, look her eyes are a beautiful honey brown, ebony hair cut short not like the other, LOOK AT THOSE HIPS THOSE THIGHS, very good and a cute butt to boot!" Xiy cross her arms nodding with a number one choice for her wonderful brother. Dib left eye was twitching furiously _'she thinks that am a girl?'_, Zim's mouth agape he knew that she was an idiot but Dib was clearly a MALE.

"I am awesome aren't I, no? I picked the best female out of them all" she pries herself

"Xiy, one tiny little thing Dib-stink is a male" Zim reply Dib nodded dumbly in agreement

"HUH?" Xiy was now confused

"MALE BY A STICK AND BERRIES!"

Xiy went over to Dib and shamelessly garbed him indeed he was a male "huh weird, he smells of female in first heat" she said out loud but mostly to herself

"I WHAT?" that was from a frantic Dib while Zim rises a non extinct eye brow

"Maybe he's a... no but they are not very common" Xiy went over to Dib and smelled him again "HE IS, Zim you have to take him now"

"What no, girl you must BE crazy" Zim protested

"Zim he's a vir cursor, you must"

"I don't care if he is"

"ZIM you must there only a hand full in the whole universe"

Dib looked at the two they were talking about him he could feel it in his bones "Umm, aliens am still he-"

"Sush She/male" Xiy put her hand in Dib's face "me and my brother are talking"

when she turns back to Zim he was gone, running down the street like there was no tomorrow

"Damn..." she cursed to herself

~with Dib and Gaz when the madness ended~

"Gaz" Dib looked up at his little sister (A/N: yes Gaz is taller she's 5' 9'' hahaha) "do I look like a girl"

Gaz abruptly stopped causing her die, then the unearthly thing happened the corners of her mouth stated twitching upwards as she busted out laughing. Dib looked around to see no black holes anywhere or the sky opening up causing their doom.

"Dib..." she said but to her unemotional self like nothing had just happened "what brought you to start.." she glared at him "questioning your masculinity, hmm?"

"uhh... you see.." Dib blushed with a weak smile, while scratched his cheek " there's this new girl in class,...and … ah she thought that I was I a girl..." he said the last word in a small voice, looking at the ground. Gaz blinked at him a few times and lifted an eyebrow then she began talking

"Well she's not the first one really" Gaz smirked to herself as Dib looked at her wide eyed "about a dozen time a month many, teenaged hormonal boys that DOES NOT go to our school! I need to remind you" Dib nodded his eyebrow knitted together "they tried to hit on you through me let see" Gaz tapped her chin _'this one will be good'_ she thought as she ruffed her voice "'hey babe how about you and your sister come to this party' or this one 'hey skinny ladies why not come and be my ladies'" Gaz shook her head at the stupidity "plus it isn't my fault that we got more of mom's genes... it's just the way it's girly-man" Dib looked down at his feet as they stopped at their door, Gaz was half way up the stairs "make me dinner...or your doomed to hell for life, you made me lose on the 110th level"

Dib looked at his younger sister and dragged his feet to the kitchen, he's going to Zim tonight.

~Zim's base~

"SMEETS! SMEETS! SMEETS! SMEETS! SMMMMEEEEEETTTSSSSS!" Xiy yelled hanging from the ceiling Zim looked up at her and shook his head. She was out of her human disguise she was the same shade as green, that Zim was and her antenna went down to her shoulder as curled two times. She had the same magenta eyes the Zim also had.

"I ZIM will not have smeets with that filthy worm-baby" Zim yell shaking his fist at her

"Why not he's cute, he has a big head that shows that that his intelligence is above these dirt-filth on this dirty plant"

"No"

"Why not the Smeets would so cute with your genes mixed together"

"NO, YOU STUPID IRK FEMALE"

"Aw buu..."

"NO! now get down here"

"Umm... this …. is..umm...embarrassing...but hee I can't" Xiy starting to swing herself back and froth "Gir hooked me up" Zim narrowed one eye at her and sighed

"Well am going to see the rest of this dirt ball plant is doing" Zim went in to the elevator then looked back her "I'll tell Gir to let you down" he said as her went up

Xiy watched as Zim disappeared in the the upper base, she sighed as she kicked her feet and waited for Gir to come down.

~30 minutes later~

Xiy is still hanging form the ceiling she was pissed Zim said that he'll tell Gir but where is the robot any ways, and computer is surfing the web, man that thing was addicted. She looked over the lab and sighed kicking her legs back and froth again, the clacking of metal against tiled floor caught her attention glowing pink orbs floated in the darkness.

"Viz" she called out the S.I.R unit looked up

"Mistress? What are you doing up there" the S.I.R known as Viz asked

"Long story, just get me down from here, kay?"

"Sure, srue" with that Viz flew and cut the rope safely landing both her and her mistress on the ground

"Now what to do, what to do?" Xiy asked herself

"Well for starters, we first have try to get Zim to mate with that Human she/male" Viz put in

"Yes I know but how, he HATES HIM with a passion" Viz opened her head and took out a magazine 'Cosmos's Girl' she flipped through some pages.

"Here!" Xiy looked at the Article 'how to get your man'

"INGENIOUS!" she yelled taking the magazine "Step 1. get him to notice you"

"How are we going to get the she/male here"

As if there prayer had been answered the intruder alarm went off as Dib literally fell in there lap they both looked at each other and smirked

"Ow, Zim..." Dib rubbed the forming bump on his head

"No Xiy"

"and Viz" answered the S.I.R unit

"What? Where's Zim" Dib yelled

"Aw, don't yell you'll hurt you pretty voice, hun" Xiy said as her got up and dusted fall imaginary dust off her dress "and he's looking over his empire, for someone who wants to stop an invasion your pretty slow" she said sitting in Zim's chair with Viz at her feet

"What no he hadn't tried anything in years, but I know that's he's planing something" Did clenched his fist in determination. Xiy shook her head " he rules half of the world already" turning to the blank scene computer clicking random keys.

"What?" she herd him gasped "but he did nothing, surly he would try to take America down first the others" it was quite for a moment "I must know" Xiy smirked _'bingo' _she turned around crossing her legs, he was playing in her little clawed hands now.

"Well I'll tell you if you do something for me" Xiy tapped her fingers together

"and why would you do that?" Dib hissed

"Let's just say I like making my brother mad"

"Brother, Irkens can't have sibling there made in TUBES!"

Xiy lifted a invisible eye brow "humm... so you know about how most of the population is born,huh" Xiy smiled "well I consider me and Zim siblings, because of the fact that were made of the same pair of DNA" looking up at the tubes "isn't that what siblings are, they come from the same DNA, even if it's half the pair? Or this I don't get none of the pair... I think that's called adaptien?"

"adoption" Dib corrected

"Oh what ever adaptien adoption what the the difference" Xiy shrugged her shoulders

"One is not even a word, and the other is when you take a child in to your family"

"...hmm.." Xiy nodded thoughtfully "any ways lets get to it shall we?" she got up from the chair rubbing her clawed hands together "Viz get the music and clothes ready" Viz did a quit solute and left, Dib had a sinking feeling in his stomach "I think for you a nurse" Xiy gave a toothy grin, yeah he's dead...

~.~.~.~.~.~

"See Dib-sis that wasn't so bad you actually look good like that" Xiy smiled at her handy work, she get Dib to wear a white tight nurse dress that barely met the mid of this thighs. It had white thigh high socking, the hat with the red cross on it, gloves that went up his forearms, and to top it off she pulled his hair in to tiny little pigtails. She herself was wearing a red devil two piece, complete with the red high highs, horns, tail and pitched fork.

Xiy tilted her head "Cute..." she cooed as she patted Dib's head "VIZ! Ke$ha" Viz jumped up and put on the Kesha CD 'take it off' started to play.

"PPPAAARRRTYYYY!"Gir yelled coming off the elevator with a mouth full of tacos, Xiy looked over at him "weren't you suppose to let me down an hour ago?"

"Ooooohhhh yaaayyy..." Gir said in a dream like state "Oh hi..." Gir squinted his eyes "Big-head gurl" he waved Dib face heated up.

"Am not a girl!" Dib yelled red faced

"uh...yeah" Xiy said insured "that's what they all say, NOW GET OUT OF THOSE BOXERS AND PUT THESE ON" she held up and pair of red low cut panties and started to wave it in his face, Dib made a face and batted it away "no, now get that thing away from me" he whine.

"want some cheese with that?" she hummed to the song playing in the background for a while "or you'll like to go commando?" Xiy covered her mouth when Dib didn't answered "Dib-sis I never took you for that kind of person" she blushed thinking of Dib walking around with no underwear. Dib looked at her as her face turned purple _'OMG he's a naughty boy' _she shook her head.

"HEY!" Dib crossed his arms "what are you thinking in your green little head?"

"Oh, nuttin' … WEAR THE PANTIES NOW...VIZ 'OLD 'IM DOWN!"

"Yes mistress" Viz said grabbing Dib by the arms

there was a lot of crashing of things yelling and exchanges of foul names, but in the end Xiy had burned Dib's UFO boxers and got to put on the panties.

"There now isn't that better?" Xiy said pinching Did's cheek

"N-n-no" Dib blushed trying to pull down his skirt

Xiy, Viz, and Gir was half way a cross the room dancing to the next song that showed up 'tik tok'

"Come Dib-sis dance with us" Xiy yelled

"And why do you keep on calling me Dib-SIS?" he yelled over the music "I'm not a girl"

"Well you better start considering yourself as one then, vir cursor"

"what the hell is that?"

"what?"

"Vir cursor?"

"man who carries"

"man who carries? What exactly?"

"Smeets, smeebies, babies, babes that kind if stuff"

"... So he takes care of the children?..."

Xiy looked at him and laughed "no they have the children as in they carry them in their bellies" she giggled he's cute.

"LIKE DA PREGNANT MAN!" Gir said behind her Dib's face grew red

"Yes Gir, just like the pregnant man" she looked at red faced human and close her eyes "but their real males, not females with sex changes who didn't want to remove there sex female parts, they still have there dangy bits"

"That's not psychically possible, men can not have children they...WE don't have the right equipment for it" Dib yelled on top of his lungs pulling at his hair, before Xiy slapped his hand away from the pigtails.

"You humans are so simple minded, you only see this contrasted tube and not at the big picture" she tsked as she waved a finger in Dib's face "you have the right stuff, did you had any stomach pains some months back,hmm?"

"Yes" he nodded "but what does that have to with it?"

"Well your body was making the right...equipment as you call it Dib-sis" she said nonchalantly

"That name again why are you calling me that?"

"Dib-sis? Weeellll... that is.. because..." Xiy thought about this and decided not to tell him "that's for me and you to find out"

"space-girl" he growled

"Oh yeah I almost forgot... you in heat" she smiled happily "your get a lot of male attention tomorrow"

The song changed to 'your love is my drug'

"NO...no no no no" Dib shook his head "you... am straight am not gay"

Xiy looked at him and laughed "no you can't" she looked at him again to see that he was serous "oh,well the thing is you can't be 'straight', you see all vir cursor are as you call it is 'GAY',yeah ... so there, my superior brain knows this" she patted him on the shoulders "and hopefully you inferior brain would come to understand", Dib was so in shock and Xiy was to busy calming him down they didn't hear the elevator opening and clacks of lather boots.

"WHAT ON IRK IS THIS?" a booming dominate voice filled the room

"ZIM!" both Xiy and Dib chimed in unison

"Xiy what is Dib- beast doing in here?"

"He fell out the ceiling" she chimed pointing upwards

"Huh..."

"He fell Zimmy, and landed in my lap"

"So we played dress up doesn't he look cute" Xiy got out f the way for Zim to see Dib's outfit "see I made it mehself, it's my favorite but I'll let him brow it"

Zim looked at Dib just now realizing that he was a sexy-cute nurse, there was a weird feeling in his nether regions, Xiy and Viz took note of this. Hell there plain was working he will fall for the human-she/male they could see it in his eyes hungry as hell man. Zim was eye raping the poor boy, the sweet scent is filling the room _'oh shit this is going way to fast'_ Xiy thought as she looked back and froth between the two males Dib's eye was glazed over as her released the aroma in the room, Zim was slowly making his way over to the boy. Xiy was the only thing between them since Viz ran the little trader _'Dib, doesn't know what's he's doing...damn his heat'_ Xiy ran over to Dib trying to knock him out of it _'this is going to end up as rape, if this doesn't stop soon'. _

"MASTA'S HOME, DO MASTA WANNA HAVE SOME WAFFLES?" Gir yelled while successfully knocking the two out of their trance Xiy took her chance "YES, GIR HE DOES" she gave Dib this coat back, and took Zim's hand and dragged him up stairs.

"What just happened here?" Dib asked himself...

~at school the next day~

Ms. Bitters still wasn't in instead it was Mr. Bitter's her son who wasn't really bitter but bi-polar a lot worst then her, you wouldn't know if he was angry at you till it' to late and instead of doom he would talk about destruction and how they would all go to hell one day. Mr. Bitters had rabid rat on his left shoulder named Fluffy the was the beast hardly any fur on it's fur-less ass, Fluffy was has foaming spit dripping from his maw claws that needed to be cut and beady pink eyes plus he twitches … a lot. Mr. Bitters surprisingly had the looks of a lady killer, got some kids wondering if he and Ms. Bitters was related... hey she could have been a fine looking lady back in her days... just saying.

But other than the scary but good-looking teacher, and the thing on his shoulder in front of the class everything seemed fine. The teens still think Dib was crazy, Dib still can't believe that Zim ruled half the earth, Zim thinking of plans to take over the other half of the world, and Xiy putting part two of her plan in order. Mr. Bitters got up and left but Fluffy was in charge now he looked over the class room before going to sleep still twitching that when one boy got up and walk over to Dib. Dib narrowed his eyes at him.

"What do you want?" Dib questioned

"Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!" he smirked

"WHAT!" Dib, Zim, and Xiy all called out

"Do you want to see something swell?" another one came up and said petting his hair, Dib eye started to twitch uncontrollably, Xiy started laughing to herself.

"What's going on" Zim asked her

"His heat is taking these human males' sanity" she giggled

"...YOU WERE TELLING THE TRUTH ?." he yelled Fluffy hissed at the class to shut up

"Cha... of course" she rolled her blue eyes

"Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them." that was Keef

"EEEWWW!" Dib screeched

"I am conducting a field test of how many men have pierced nipples."

Dib cover his chest with his arms the girls glared at him

"Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?"

"No"

Xiy felt a little pain for him, it must be hard having strange men fawning over you when you don't want one of them. She sighed and went to reading, it wasn't her problem her true concern was to make sure at the end that his belly is swelled with smeets, by the time Mr. Bitters came back to the classroom every male in the room was around Dib's desk flirting with him kinda ... it wasn't really working just crept him out. Mr. Bitters looked at the rat he had a look that said 'Fluffy do something', said rat got up and stretched out his pink body and attacked the group. The screams of pain brought a smile to his face 'it's lunch now go to hell' he announced before leaving again. Xiy traded in her book for a game slave and head to lunch a blur of black and blue passed by her, Zim next to her eyed it longingly Xiy rolled her eyes. She got her lunch and took up residence next to Gaz.

"You play too?" Xiy asked the moody girl

"Whatz it to ya?" she reply

Xiy smiled "I bet you can't bet my high score"

Gaz looked at her with a raised eyebrow yes she can she's da best at this game, Xiy handed her game to Gaz who's eye widen so many zeros "H-h-how?" she asked

"I have a lot of time on my hands" Xiy purred

"Your on"

"Like Donkey Kong?"

"Yeah...sure"

~.~.~.~

Dib watched as his set was taken over by that alien girl his fist clenched and turned whiter, the only ones opened was Zim's and the Jocks. He mentally weighted this Jock who could bet him up, call him crazy or worse try and hit on him like the others and there is Zim who would just ignore him for the lunch period. Zim was the better choice, the human walked over to the green skinned alien and sat they exchanges looks then went back to what they were doing.

"I've gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade." Dib looked up to see a big shadow over him

_'Oh god it had to a jock' _

"_Shush, be quite little one let him speck"_ a voice said

"_Who the hell are you?"_ Dib asked looking around the lunch room

"_I am the inner workings of your mind Dib,...you may call me Bob"_the voice reply

"_..."_

"_Good, now let see this one he's big strong and healthy very good"_

"_WTF!"_

"_But is he large enough to fill our need?"_

"_What the hell are you talking about?"_

"_Our need it has to be filled"_ Bob pointed out _"to be so fill that after he leaves his essence in us"_

"_HIS WHAT?NO, NO WAY IN HELL"_

"_Your right on this one"_

"_See"_

"_But the alien he's perfect, no in formalities on him or in him"_

Dib's face turn a new shade of red never known to man, as he looked over in Zim's direction the alien was watching him closely. Dib's face got hotter.

"_Hey!"_

"_YES! I KNOW HE WOULD MAKE PERFECT CHILDREN"_

"_Horny, you HORNY PIECE OF SHIT"_

"_HEY AM YOU, SO IF AM A HORNY PIECE OF SHIT SO ARE YOU... SO THERE!"_

"_... that is true... damn am horny then..."_

"_Yes slow one you are"_

"_shit..."_

~.~.~.~.~

"So if I do this Dib wouldn't be able to leave with us anymore?" Gaz asked

"That is correct"

"Why again..."

"Because in Irken culture it is necessary for the submissive, Dib, to move in with the dominant, Zim then they would get to the making of the smeets"

"Zim is the dominant and Dib is the Submissive in this odd relationship?"

"Correct again Gaz, now all we to do is to get them together"

"Then I'll get my game room"

"Indeed"

"What are we waiting for then?"

"Bring him to my house after school, Gazlene" Xiy smirked knowing Gaz's full name

"Don't call me THAT!" she hissed

* * *

**So i decided to make this a multiple chapter DAZR fic because it's just to long maybe three to four chapters to the most...**

**yes that is Gaz's full name don't believe search it up anyways in the next chapter am going to make up a whole bunch of bullshit about the Irken race so if you don't like don't read or comment i hate those kind of people. this is MY fanfic so i spit all kind of BULL if i want plus i think it's kinda cool because there a lot of very creative people put there but most of them get knock down of the non-creative simple minded peolpe.**

**pace V.  
**


	2. Irken history

Irken history

Gaz held up her half of the deal and brought Dib to Xiy's house/base, Dib looked up at the big white and blue house. If someone was looking at this the would think the family living in it was very well off not a alien who lives there. Now Dib doesn't know why Gaz dragged him all the across town when, he could be home hiding under his bed, after what happened today at skool who wouldn't. But no she took his wrist, her grasp was so strong he felt pain.

"Gaz what are we doing here?he asked looking at his sister

"Me and my ...acquaintance

"Acquaintance? Hee... Gaz when do YOU talk to people?"

"When there's something in for me.. that's when

"Oh...?"

Gaz rolled her eyes and knocked on the front door _'am I really doing this, giving an extra terrestrial my brother... my blessing so it can court him... but I would get that game room I always wanted...'_ Gaz thought. In the the middle of Gaz talking to herself the door opened to reveled Xiy without her disguise, she looked at both Gaz and Dib and gave the a zippered teeth smile, Dib rise an eye brow something was up. The house was surprisingly normal looking from the inside no toilet in the kitchen, the front door didn't have a bathroom indicator on it. The living room was wonderfully furnished with all white the lover set, the couch, the recliner, the arm chair, the center

"Aw come in, come in we've been waiting for youXiy stepped out of the way to let the humans in her house 天iz did you put out the snacks?"

The SIR unit came out setting the snacks on the table Viz looked over at Dib and waved 滴ello, nurse Dib muttered something under his breath

"Where is he? you said that he'll be hereGaz muttered looking around the house Xiy sighed

"I know but we had a mini spat that's all

she went up to the kitchen 纏im get your green ass out here NOW!

"You know what!said alien bellowed

"WHAT! we're made up of the same set o DNA, so I match you at anything

"Wha...I AM ZZZIIIMMM!"

"Yeah, and I am Xiy ... so there"

Xiy came out with a small smile gracing her face

"He'll be out in,a fewshe said walking over to the front of the room 吐irst he just has to suck in his pride

As if on cue Zim came out of the kitchen,pissed as hell and sat next to Dib. Dib felt a little sorry for Zim knowing of what, he just been through.

"Good now we have everyone hereXiy said clapping her claws together 鉄o this is Irken Sex-Ed 101

Dib gasped as he took out his note book and pen

"WHAT!Zim jumped up 添our teaching these Earthlings our sexual reproducing? Unacceptable"

"Zim Shut up, you know how they reproduce... I think it would be fair for them to knows oursshe said turning her back to him

"As I was saying, Irken sex-ed 101,we Irkens are very sexual creatures. We were made for sex really,to tell the truth. A healthy male Irken could masturbate at lest five to eight times a day, same goes for a female. When one mate, they mate for life, thus they can't cheat or go off with a other, Irkens are faithful partners. Unlike humans, sorry to say that but it's true most mated humans do cheat, as where Irkens don't. Over the years more and more Irkens started to be born in tubes like me and Zim, some was born naturally like...TakXiy said the female Irken name with bitterness

"Tak, was a natural born Irken?Dib asked

"Yes, because of that she thought she was SO much better,then the rest of us in the Smeet AcademyZim said to Dib who nodded and jotted down notes.

"Now back to the lessen at hand, Irkens started to condor worlds because it was the next best thing to having sex. When a invader fully condor a plant it's like the best organism ever. That is why we do what we do, to have the best organism ever."

"That is just sick, you condor plants just for you to have pleasure?"

"Yes, that is correct"

"Will you force one to mate with you"

"Oh, that's against our honor, besides the mating won't be as sweet but besides that. One must make smeets, and forcing on mating will not insure them with the smeets"

_'what the hell?'_

"If an Irken forces their mate, it would be lest chance of them convincing an offspring"

"Like rape?"

"Yes just like rape, and that's how it would be for the rest of their lives..."

"Because they mate for life"

"Yep, your getting it Dib-sis"

Dib gave a small smile as he blushed

_'He's so cute'_

"Any questions?Xiy asked the rest of the evening went according to Xiy and Gaz's plan on getting Zim and Dib together.

**~Back on Irk~**

Back on plant Irk Red and Purple where having an uneventful day eating snacks in their command room.

"In coming call coming from...the mother ship?said a droid

"What? The mother ship was taken by...

"Hello Purple and Red"

Two figures showed up on the screen they were long and tall, taller then the tallest themselves. Their blue and magenta eyes glowed pasted the black background.

"Blue, Magenta how it been"

"Oh it been great we been everywhereThe one with the blue eyes said, the voice indicate that it was female

"So..why did you callRed asked dreading the answer

"the smeets we left in your care where are they?she asked 的 want to see how they grown, what they became"

"Oh one of them is a I.M.A the other is a invaderhe replied

"That's greatshe said about to close the transmission 澱y the way, their was a rumor a while back..."

Both Red and Purple froze

"What would that be"

"I don't know, that you banished one of the smeet after a mistake made by one of your droid in dooms day 1"

"Well the thing is that..."

"RED!Blue yelled 的 don't want to hear itwith that it ended

**~Mother ship~**

"So this is earth, Bluethe male Irken stated

"That it is MagetaBlue replied

"There both here then

"Good I really want to see them..."

* * *

**Srry I took so long it was just that my computer got a virus and lost all my docs. Yeah no Flames don't like well don't burn me on it just,tell what you don't like in a nice way damn**

**P.S I still need a beta reader... **


End file.
